Did you know in the 80’s and 90’s athletes were banned from the Olympics if they tested positive for caffeine? Officials consider it to be performance enhancing! Today, athletes who test positive for more than 12 micrograms of caffeine may be removed from the games. In order to reach that much in your system, you have to drink about five cups. FIVE CUPS? Sounds un-enhancing to me. Wouldn’t that much coffee give you the shakes?
I wouldn’t want to be on the receiving end of the javelin throw, if you know what I mean.
Or the shot put, for that matter.
A couple weeks ago I was ordering a drink with an extra pump of syrup in it. I said as much, “small, iced, three pumps”, but the barista misheard me. Before making my drink he double checked (thank goodness) and said, “Did you want three pumps, or three shots.”
Three shots? Of…espresso?
Yes, that’s what he meant. I outright laughed at him. Look, I like caffeine and all, but if you put THREE ESPRESSO SHOTS in one tiny cup, I wouldn’t sleep for weeks. I don’t even want to think about the repercussions it would have on my son, who still nurses before nap and would probably spend the rest of the day channeling the Tasmanian Devil.
(Stop, wait. I just imagined Taz doing the shot put. Was there ever a Looney Tunes episode where he did that? Because it would be genius. He’s got the spin down perfectly.)
(On second thought, maybe I could use a little extra caffeine. I’m writing about the Tasmanian Devil doing the shot put. Hmmm…)